I posted this to the LAJUG mailing list, then later to the Extreme Programming Yahoo! group. Some folks really liked it, so I’m putting it up here for posterity.

The Java Programmer’s Rules of Design are, in order of priority:

1. Should not have any tests, because I wrote it so it works.
2. Should clearly express how clever I am.
3. Good idioms should be repeated often. Better idioms oftener.
4. Should contain as many classes and methods as I might possibly need
   at some point in the future.

(Read here if you don’t get the joke.)

P.S. If you are a Java programmer and this makes you sad just substitute your least favorite of: C#, C++, or Perl. It works for them too…